The Battle of The Fans: Chapter 2 The Script of The Stranger
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: The 2nd part of the Battle of The Fans trilogy


The house of McCormick

Princess Kenny was still shocked to see what was in the box

Kenny: Where did you find this?

Kyle: Some merchant gave it to me. He said it was the original script, forged in the fires of HBO by the Dark Lord Benioff

Kenny: Why would we he sell this to you?

Kyle: I don't know. We cannot let our warriors know about it

Kenny: Why?

Kyle: The merchant said the script can corrupt any Game of Thrones fans minds. That they'd wanna read it. The merchant said one who holds the script would wanna have it for themselves

Kenny: Why doesn't it affect us?

Kyle: I don't know. Maybe we have some power in us that doesn't affect us

Kenny: Whoah

They stood in silence for a bit

Kenny: Do you wanna read the script with me?

Kyle: Sure

One reading later

Kenny: Oh my god! It's perfect

Kyle: Whoah Dude! Better than the actual finale

Kenny: I know. It's fucking crazy

Kyle: But we still cannot tell our soldiers about this

Kenny: Agreed!

But little did they know, Filmore was watching them

Filmore: Wait till the Grand Wizard hears about this

Meanwhile

The warriors of the House of McCormick were preparing their weapons

Michael: Did anyone catch the spy yet?

Pete: Oh. I heard it was that Ike Broflovski kid. Filmore told me and he showed me Ike's "I hate the Game of Thrones finale" wristband

Michael: Whoah. Who knew a cute Canadian person-

Suddenly the PC babies start crying

Michael: What the fuck? I didn't say anything offensive that time

Kevin: You're supposed to describe Canadians as "Person or people of Canadian culture" when around people of PC culture

Michael: Well it's fucking bullshit

Kevin: Michael. I think it's best if you don't speak. Because I'm sick of these babies crying

Michael: Goths are superior you stupid conformist

The PC babies continue to cry

Pete: God. I hate those babies

Michael: You can say that again

Pete: What are we gonna do about them? We can't even share our opinions anymore

Michael: I know what to do

Pete: What?

Michael: We kill them

Pete: Whoah whoah! Too goth

Michael: I guess you're right that is a little extreme

Pete: Could we suggest something less drastic?

Michael: We could just send them somewhere else when they're asleep

Pete: Oh yeah that works

Michael: Than it is settled. We get rid of the con...babies of PC culture tonight

Pete: Yeah

Meanwhile at the Raisin brothel

Wendy: Stan! Why the fuck are you here at this slutty restaurant?! Is this where you spend some of your nights?!

Stan: It's actually a hide out. I've been hiding here after the Game of Thrones finale

Wendy: So you saw the Game of Thrones finale and said "I know. I'll hide out in a place with sluts. Don't care what my girlfriend thinks!"

Stan: I've been hiding here because they know this is the last place I'd be

Wendy: What?

Stan: My Friends would usually ask me "Hey Stan wanna come to Raisins with us" and I'd reply "Get a girlfriend guys come on". I didn't go to Raisins because I thought I'd be betraying you and I didn't wanna do that

Wendy: But you went to Raisins after the Game of Thrones finale

Stan: Not after. Ever since the finale aired the armies of Kupa Keep were split, those who loved it took Kenny's side and those who hated it took Cartman's side. I didn't know what to make of the finale and they threatened to exile me if I didn't come up with a decision. But I told them that this conflict was pointless and they banished me for that choice. They later sent attack squads to try and kill me. But I tricked them, I left my helmet by a cliff leading people to believe I was dead. Technically my character. I hid at Raisins so no one would find me. I usually go out as The Knight Rider to keep an eye on the kingdoms and that's how I became a legend and I also taught myself how to play a flute

Wendy: You could've just hung out with me if you wanted to get away from it all

Stan: I feared they might search your house and maybe mine

Wendy: I am still pissed off that you decided to hide out in a place with sluts

Behind Wendy were three very pissed off Raisins girls

Lexus: I think you need to get out

Wendy: Why?

Porsche: You're referring to us Raisins girls as sluts. We do not have sex with boys or give them blow jobs at the back

Wendy: Than why do you go out at the back with them?

Mercedes: To show them our Raisins

Stan: Wendy. I really need you to be sa-

Wendy put her hand on Stan's mouth

Wendy: Why would you exactly wanna be sluts?

Porsche: Waitresses

Wendy: Whatever. Do you even care about your education? You could grown up to be a lawyer or a doctor or a teacher

Lexus: Let's kill this bitch

Stan got out of his seat and drew his sword

But in the process many other customers drew their swords

Porsche: What you gonna do? Attack us Raisins girls?

Stan: No. I'm giving you a warning to back off from her

Lexus: Why should we?

Stan: Just Stand down and there will be no trouble

Maurey: Is there a problem?

Mercedes: Yes Maurey. That slag over there just called us sluts

Stan: Don't insult her

Suddenly a grown man wearing a cloak appeared in front of Stan and Wendy

Cloaked Figure: Please Son. That's enough. Listen my son and I will make our leave

Stan: And my girlfriend, Dad

Cloaked Figure: Yes Son

Maurey: Well they ain't leaving until she apologises for insulting the waitresses

Cloaked Figure: Very Well

The cloaked figure grabbed Maurey and kicked him in the balls

Cloaked Figure: Anyone else? Good. Because I don't wanna get the living crap beaten out of me with plastic swords. They may not be real swords but they hurt like hell. Come son and son's girlfriend. Let us exit this facility

Stan: Dad speak English

Randy: I am. It's called old timey English Stan

Raisins Ext.

Stan: Look. Thanks Dad for helping me out

The Cloaked Figure removed his hood revealing Randy

Randy: It's alright Stan and you must be Wendy

Wendy: Yeah

Randy: I knew your Dad. Me and him we go back a long way

Flashback

Kindergarten

Young Sean was playing police Officer when young Randy snuck up behind him and kicked him in his balls

Randy: Nerd!

3rd grade

Young Sean was walking along the hallway when young Randy snuck up behind him and kicked him in his balls

Randy: Nerd!

High school

Sean was in the bathroom using the urinal when Randy snuck up on him and kicked him in the balls

Randy: Nerd!

The church about 20 years ago

Sean was getting married to Deborah

Father Maxi: Do you Sean Testaburger take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

Sean: I-

Before Sean could finish his sentence, Randy snuck up behind him and kicked him in the balls

Randy: Nerd!

Flashback ends

Randy: Oh yeah. Those were amazing times

Stan: Dad what were you thinking about?

Randy: Sorry. I was just having flashbacks

Stan: We've been standing here for 1 hour waiting for an answer out of you

Randy: You were? What was the question again son?

Stan: Why are you dressed up like that?

Randy: Because Stan there's a war coming and I'm gonna be on the right side when it happens

Stan: What war?

Randy: The war of the wars

Stan: Huh?

Randy: Sorry Stan. I am joining this group who hate The Game of Thrones finale and they told me I had to be vague as possible when somebody asks me a question

Wendy: But you said there was a war coming

Randy: Forget I said that. Now I must leave. Come my noble steed

Stan: You have a horse?

Randy: Yes I do

But the horse was really a donkey

Randy: Now ride

But the donkey was moving very slow

Randy: See ya son

Stan: Your car is just right there

Randy: No I must stay true to Game of Thrones logic

Wendy: But it would be easier

Randy: Do not question the awesomeness of Game of Thrones!

Stan: Well that's my Dad

Wendy: What did he mean by war?

Stan: I don't know

Wendy: I am still mad at you

Stan: Look Wendy I'm sorry

Wendy: Stan! Did you have any idea how I felt in there? Feeling betrayed that my own boyfriend went somewhere slutty! Instead of finding a better hiding place!

Stan: Wendy just let me apologise

Wendy: Go Stan! Just go!

Stan stood in shock

Wendy walked away with tears rolling down her face

Kupa Keep

Cartman was sitting on his throne

Cartman: Clyde is Mr Marsh coming?

Clyde: He's still a long way from us

Cartman: How far?

Clyde: Around 2 and a half hours

Cartman: Goddammit!

Butters: My league. I have news from our spy

Cartman: Indulge me, my dear paladin

Butters: According to our spy, Princess McCormick and Jew King Kyle have the script to the Game of Thrones finale

Henrietta (Girl goth): So?

Butters: But it's not just a script to The Game of Thrones finale, it's the original script

Cartman: Original?

Butters: And according to our spy he heard them say that it's better than the actual finale

Cartman: My God. Tomorrow at dawn. We begin our assault on the House of McCormick

Butters: But my league isn't the battle this Sunday?

Cartman: Yes Butters. But they have the script and we must acquire it. My fellow warriors, we will get the script and read it to ourselves. And than I will have Lady McCormick's head. By chopping it off with this axe my Mom bought at an antique show. We may lose many great soldiers, but this is our battle not theirs! The true fans will rise and the traitors will fall!

The army of Kupa Keep cheered

Craig: Wait! Wait! Wait!

Cartman: What is it Craig?

Craig: Your Mom lets you use an axe?

Cartman: Yes

Craig: An actual axe?

Cartman: Yes

Craig: What kind of fucked up Mom do you have?

Meanwhile

It was night time at the House of McCormick

Michael and Pete were sneaking around

Michael: Alright. Once we get hold of the babies we dump them off on a train to Canada

Pete: Sounds goth bro

Michael: Yeah. They won't survive a day there

Michael and Pete pick up the PC babies and head off to the train station

The train station

Pete: Alright I've asked the clerk and the train to Canada is just over there

Michael: Thanks Pete. Sweet dreams

Michael throws the PC babies on the train

Pete: That looked like it hurt

Michael: Why should I care?

Pete: Fair enough

Michael than notices Henriette and Firkle throwing the other PC Babies onto the train to Canada

Michael: I guess they had the same idea

Pete: Even though they are our enemies, they are still goth

Michael: Totally

The next morning

The House of McCormick

Kenny woke up and got dressed in his/her princess costume

Than Kenny went into the kitchen to have a pop tart for breakfast

Kenny finished his/her pop tart and entered outside to discover his/her army have been captured

Princess Kenny than got held down by Nelly and Butters

Nelly: Nice grip babe

Butters: Thanks honey

Kenny just cringed

Clyde: Presenting The Grand Wizard

Cartman entered through the crowd with the script in his hand

Cartman: Hello Lady McCormick. Long time no see

Kenny: You moron. The Battle was this Sunday

Cartman: Yes it was. But a little birdie told me about your script

Kenny: You mean you had a second spy?

Cartman: No I only had one

Filmore came up to Kenny and punched him

Kyle: Cartman this needs to stop

Cartman: Oh zip your Jew Elf mouth shut Khal

Kyle: That script has a power you yourself cannot control

Cartman: And that power is a more satisfying conclusion

Butters: My league I can't find the PC Babies

Cartman: The fuck! You guys lost the PC Babies as well

Michael and Pete just sat there pulling their goth faces

Cartman: It's strange because the PC Babies we had for our army vanished as well

Butters: And they were adorable

Cartman: Yeah they were not only were they adorable- Wait we're getting off topic. What shall we do to you your highness?

Kenny: Do anything! You can fuck me if you want

Cartman: No! I have a better plan. Since I have a very authentic axe maybe we should chop your head off and put it on a spike and maybe use it as a puppet or maybe a lamp shade or maybe use it as a candle holder

Kenny: Wow. You really wanna use my head for a lot of messed up shit

Cartman: Silence! Take her away to Kupa Keep for execution and the rest will just have to be prisoners

Meanwhile

Tegridy Farms

Stan was sitting on his bed looking at his phone at pictures with him and Wendy

Stan than got his Ranger Marshwalker outfit and burned it in the backyard

Sharon: Stanley. Have you seen the donkey and your father?

Stan: I don't know

Stan walked to the bus stop to South Park

As the bus entered South Park, it went past Randy still riding the donkey to Kupa Keep

Randy: Don't worry old girl. We'll get there in 4 hours

Stan got off the bus and walked to Testaburger residence

Stan knocked on the door

Wendy answered

Wendy: Oh. Hey

Stan: Can we talk?

Wendy: Alright Stan

Stan and Wendy went upstairs to her room

Stan: Look about today. I am sorry. I had no choice but to do it

Wendy: You should've thought how I felt Stan

Stan: Wendy. I didn't wanna do it. But because of all this and fear for my life. I just had no choice. I didn't wanna put you in danger at all and neither my Dad or the farm. Wendy if you wanna break up, I don't care I deserve it

Wendy stood in silence for a minute

Stan was about to leave

Wendy: Stan. I know you've fucked up real bad and quite frankly I'm still pissed off about it. But...I don't know Stan. Today has been really stressful

Stan: Look Wendy, what I did was awful and I admit that. But I screw up all the time, if our relationship is just perfect than it's not a real relationship at all, sometimes in a relationship the couples can screw up. We've both made bad choices in our life, my Dad has made god knows how many bad decisions in his life. We can't all be perfect Wendy

Wendy: Stan. That speech wasn't perfect, but I guess you're right. But I have a question

Stan: What is it?

Wendy: Did the Raisins girls show you their raisins?

Stan: No

Wendy: That's all I need to know Stan

Stan: So. You still mad?

Wendy: A little. But I'm not breaking up with you. We've broken up so many times that it just becomes unnecessary

Stan: Yeah. Sorry I broke up with you for my start up company

Wendy: Took you long enough to apologise for that

Wendy smiled and Stan smiled back

Wendy ran up to Stan and hugged him

Stan hugged Wendy back

Stan: You do realise you still have been marked?

Wendy: They haven't attacked today, so they must've forgotten about it

Kupa Keep

Cartman: I forgot we still had Wendy marked for death. Clyde, Token. Don't forget to go there later

Clyde: Yes your highness

Cartman: Now! Bring me her head

Clyde: You mean Wendy's?

Cartman: No you moron. I meant Lady McCormick's

Kenny was on his/her knees with her/his hands tied behind her/his back

Cartman: You ready Shelly?

Shelly: I'm supposed to be anonymous you stupid turd

Shelly was wearing a mask to make herself anonymous

Kenny looked at the crowd and saw Kyle watching

Shelly: Any last words?

Kenny: Yeah. Kyle is free

Shelly chops Kenny's head off

Cartman: Yes her head is mine. Wait what was her last words again?

Bradley Biggle: He's free! The Jew Elf is free!

Meanwhile at Strong Woman's house

Strong Woman was feeding River

PC Principal burst in panicking

Strong Woman: What's going on?

PC Principal: Emory, Harper, Bailey and Riley are missing!

Strong Woman: What?

PC Principal: I went by Eric Cartman's house and they weren't there and than I went by Kenny McCormick's house and they weren't there. I've looked everywhere

Strong Woman: Wait. You left our children at the hands of students

PC Principal: I thought it would've been fine!

Strong Woman: Fine? They are babies!

Narrator: Will PC Principal and Strong Woman find their children? Will Kyle be able to get far away from the forces of Kupa Keep? Will Stan and Wendy avoid the assault by Clyde and Token? Will the PC Babies survive Canada? How long can the goths keep their secret? Who's mind will the script corrupt next? When will Strong Woman and PC Principal stop arguing and try and find their children? And will Randy get to the battle on time? The thrilling conclusion to this trilogy will be coming soon. But to answer question 7, eventually they will stop arguing


End file.
